that longest night ever...

After what was the hardest night ever…cramping and lots of red blood, very little sleep. We still had to go to the doctors for an ultrasound this morning. We knew there would be nothing there. J tried to keep my mind off of it on the car ride by bringing up the most random topics…I love him a lot. We got to the doctors; I went to the bathroom, more blood but brown this time. The nurse called us into the room and I undressed and got on the table. She did an internal with wanda and there were two sacs, with a baby in each it them and they had heartbeats…126 and 130!!! I do have a hematoma, caused most likely by implantation, nothing to be concerned about unless the blood is accompanied by clots and lots of cramping. I’ll post pictures when they get emailed to me. TWINS!!!

I'm starting to freak out

My ultrasound is on Thursday. I know that spotting is supposidly normal but I'm really worried. I spotted on Feb 19th 9dp3dt, Feb 25th 14dp3dt (talked to the nurse and she said it was fine as long as there was no cramping and its brownish in color, which it is), and today 25dp3dt. I have taken a pregnancy test a few days ago and it still came back positive. I haven't had cramping but twinges on and off, honestly not sure if it gas/digestive twinges. I just want to see my bean(s). I want to make sure this is all really real.

bad blogger

Its been a crazy week at work...we've been preparing for a 570 person plated dinner that was last night. It went ok...a few hiccups.

Also my sister in law and her husband are in town this week from Calgary. So pretty busy week for us.

I just want to be in my jammies on the couch watching all of the tv show that I have PVR'd this week. I still don't know who got kicked off American Idol. I hope its the screemy guy. I think he has asbergers...which I feel for but I really don't see what they see in his sing ability.

I'm so excited for my ultrasound this Thursday...one of my colleagues who's sister is going thru IVF told me her sister lost one of the twins she was carring...I think she's 7-8 weeks. I feel bad for her...I really am trying hard not to think of bad things and keep a positive state of mind. But its hard when you hear horrible things like this happen.

text from my brother in law tonight

This is a text conversation that I had with my brother in law on my husbands side tonight...

Him "so we're having a romantic night, homemade lasagna, some nice red wine, I even bought flowers...oh and we're playing big buck hunter in track pants"

WE PLAY A LOT OF VIDEO GAMES IN OUR FAMILY

Me "but your texting me?"

Him "all class all the time"

Me "lol"

Him "don't you want to be an aunt again" (side note no kids on my husbands side yet).

THIS IS WHERE I START TO BE UPSET

Me "eventually...one thing at a time"

Him "ok well not this week. How are you? (YOU HAVE NO IDEA, BUT HERE'S THE KICKER...THEY FULL OUT KNOW OUR FERTILITY ISSUES...GET READY FOR IT...)

Him "Who's winning you or us?"

WTF???

Me "Um...I'm not keeping score"

Him "Sens vs Flames"

SHIT..,WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO SPIN IT IN MY HEAD???

Me "Same there"

Him "what were you talking about...oh and 3-2 i.e. flames"

Me "I thought you were baby talking"

Him "no you win there"

Me "not yet keep you posted"

Him "not here as far as we know. Mexico (they just got back from holidays) was a good time, ya I know TMI"

AGAIN YOU HAVE NO IDEA

The Boys

I had the most vivid dream about giving birth to twin boys last night. From the doctor placing one on my chest to feed, to J and I laying on our bed and crying just looking at them between us.

I really want this...