Now what?

I have been focused on getting pregnant and that whole process for a long while now. Now that I am...there are so many things that I should be thinking about that has never have crossed my mind before. I don't even know where to start...well finding an obgyn is number one. But what else?

I found this list online. It seems pretty strightforward. One thing to consider each week...sounds simple enough.

I'm getting stressed about getting stressed. I work in a moderatly stressful place. I'm a Catering Sales Consultant. I organize (food, rentals, beverages, staff) events like corporate buffet lunches for 16 guests to high end galas of 600 guests. We have a few huge events coming up and the expectation is for me to go and launch them and put out any fires that come up. Normally it wouldn't stress me out but now its getting to me...even just the little things. My work does know my infertility background I'm pretty open with it...funny to think that I won't use my name on a blog but for those who know me on a personal day to day basis I don't.

I have been running an infertility support group since September and sadly I think that I will stop running them now. Most of it is due to the fact that I want to focus on me for the next 9 months, the other major part is that I don't think its fair for me to sit in a room with women who want what I want and the further I get the more painful it might be for them, I'd feel that way in thier shoes. I do enjoy the talks that I have with the women but I don't want to make them uncomfortable either. I have only told one current member that I POSD postive. Unfortunaly, she just found out today she got a BFN for her latest IUI. I feel like I'm letting them down.

1WW, coffee and graduation

Well not the kind of wait we're all hoping for but it is 1 week before J and I go to visit our Dr to find out how the donor screening went. I'm really excited. We're going to drive up on Sunday and check into a hotel. I really want to go to a nice dinner but DH is really figting hard not to make it an expensive weekend. I know we spend a lot in this process and that every penny that we spend extra is cutting into future spending but is it so wrong to want a nice steak? After dinner (I'll let you know where we end up going) were toying with the idea of going out to a movie. Our appt is on Monday at 1pm. we'll probably sleep in then make our way to that end of town.

I'm a bit bummed because I just signed up for a fertility yoga class and its on Sunday nights. I'll miss the first one which sucks...but it is what it is.

I sit here drinking a nice cup of coffee which I decided last night while going through the thoughts in my head that I am going to ween myself off of coffee...starting tomorrow. Well actually I'll finish this cup and rather than going to work with a travel mug of coffee I'll opt for a herbal tea.

I met up with a fertility friend on Saturday for coffee. She just got a BFN after ICI. Its her 6th try. I don't know if I could go through DE ivf 6 times mentally let alone afford it. She is really strong...I don't think she thinks she is though. We talked about our support group and what it would be like to have one of us "graduate" on one hand we would be happy but on the other sad it wasn't us. I get a pang of hurt every time I see another baby announcement made on Facebook or at a restaurant or on TV and I really wish that it didn't hurt. But I know it will take all of my strength to not put on FB that I'm preggo when it happens. Its not fair to those out there suffering alone or those ladies I've met in the club.

I think about after I graduate...will I push this aside and forget that this was a big part of my life and enjoy what I've been longing for for so long? I hope I don't forget...

Support Group in my Area

I was looking at the IAAC website (Infertility Awareness Association of Canada) and noticed a section call support groups. My DH and I had a great talk the other night about how I need to surround myself with people who REALLY know what we are going through...although I love my blog support group I need some flesh and blood.

There wasn't one registered for my area (there is one at the local clinic but I don't want one monitored by a shrink)...but it also said that if you wanted information on starting your own group to contact them...so I did. About 45 minute later I got an email with a phone number and was asked to call. When I did not only did the person answer right away but I was talking to Beverly Hanck the IAAC Executive Director!!! She gave me some great advise about starting a group.

I'm looking forward to the first one in September.