I'm tired, I'm angry, I'm sad, I'm not alone.

Hi I'm C. I'm tired, I'm angry, I'm sad, I'm not alone. I've been on IVF forums and reading blogs pretty much 40% of my waking hours for the past 2 weeks. I thought I would join the club of blogging.

I never in a million years will forget the day that Dr. told me I would not be able to get pregnant naturally.

Let me start from the beginning...

I was a really active teen, I played in sports and was in competitive gymnastics. So the thought never crossed anyone's mind that I was a skinny flat chested teen...that was normal for gymnasts...jump 2 years...still flat chested, 17 years old and no "hair" or period.

A few doctors appointments later (family, referral to women health center) and then I got the phone call. My mom called me from my bedroom and Dr A was on the phone wanting to talk to me. I'll never forget this...she told me my test results came back with a low hormone level and the genetic testing came back with a diagnosis of "Gonadal Dysgenesis"...I'm not a religious person but I did grow up Catholic, Genesis is the first book in the bible that describes how God created the earth, man and women...how fitting that I got the title "dys"ed.

I asked her what that meant (Gonadal Dysgenesis) and she told me I would never have children that were genetically mine. Then over the phone a baby cried into the receiver...she told me to wait one second as she shifted the child in her arms (or so it sounded like). The woman told me while holding her own child that I would never have one of my own. I will never forget that phone call.