Monday, February 28, 2011

2nd beta is in

Over 8000!!! Wow!!!

Feeling pretty good right now. BB are sore and super tired around 1pm every day. A bit of spotting this morning but the nurses told me not to worry it is normal. But its hard not to stress a bit about it.

Ultrasound on the 10th...more waiting!

Friday, February 25, 2011

Official Beta is In


Wow, I could be having two. I'm so excited!!!

Thursday, February 24, 2011

What a day

I went this morning at 8:30am for the bloodwork. My plan for the day was to "work from home" so I would be in a private setting when I got my results. My doctor had put on the req form "need results STAT". I was sitting in the little chair waiting and I overheard the nurse ask what test are on the list of stat. Then she named off what I was getting tested for in front of the 15 people in the waiting area to overhear including other patients. Number one upset point of the day. She came over and I quitely explain that I this was a test that needed the results today and she said "in your head you think its important that they come today". WTF?!?! Then I explained that it was important that I get the results and what the test was for she didn't seem to care. I asked her if I went to another lab would it be done faster she said no. She then said an STAT test is for someone who is having a diabetic coma and the doctor needs the results in an hour (I assume that someone in that situation would no go to a walk in blood lab) but my test would be run today and the doctor would get the results today. I asked what time the blood was being picked up and she told me 10am. I just let it be at that point.

When I was on my way home from the lab(the blood lab is 5 minutes from my house) a big truck rear ended me. I'm fine and the other guy is fine, but it caused a 2.5 hour delay in my day. Phone calls with insurance and just putting a bad spin on the day.

To top it all off its now 6:00pm the nurses from my clinic have all gone home and I still don't have the results. I know I'm pregnant becuase if the POAS results I've been getting but I just want the beta numbers.


Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Now what?

I have been focused on getting pregnant and that whole process for a long while now. Now that I am...there are so many things that I should be thinking about that has never have crossed my mind before. I don't even know where to start...well finding an obgyn is number one. But what else?

I found this list online. It seems pretty strightforward. One thing to consider each week...sounds simple enough.

I'm getting stressed about getting stressed. I work in a moderatly stressful place. I'm a Catering Sales Consultant. I organize (food, rentals, beverages, staff) events like corporate buffet lunches for 16 guests to high end galas of 600 guests. We have a few huge events coming up and the expectation is for me to go and launch them and put out any fires that come up. Normally it wouldn't stress me out but now its getting to me...even just the little things. My work does know my infertility background I'm pretty open with it...funny to think that I won't use my name on a blog but for those who know me on a personal day to day basis I don't.

I have been running an infertility support group since September and sadly I think that I will stop running them now. Most of it is due to the fact that I want to focus on me for the next 9 months, the other major part is that I don't think its fair for me to sit in a room with women who want what I want and the further I get the more painful it might be for them, I'd feel that way in thier shoes. I do enjoy the talks that I have with the women but I don't want to make them uncomfortable either. I have only told one current member that I POSD postive. Unfortunaly, she just found out today she got a BFN for her latest IUI. I feel like I'm letting them down.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Dark pink

I'm so excited that the line is getting darker pink it makes me feel relief that its easier to detect now.

I want to scream it out loud that we're expecting. We'll tell our family after we get the beta numbers on Thursday. Its so hard to keep this from everyone who has been supporting us through this process.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

I POAS'd yesterday...

at 9dp3dt...

Two lines!!! I know we are so lucky that on our first try we got a BFP. I was going to wait until Monday originally but it just felt right to do it yesterday. I came out of the bathroom and J was struggling to get out of bed and was lying down with his eyes closed. I put it in front of his face and told him to look. I honestly don't think that he really knew what he was looking at so I explained that 2 lines is a good thing. Then J felt like he had to POAS himself. I think it was his way of comparing the two tests since it is a faint line (it shows better in person than in these pics). He joked that he's been feeling really PMSy the pat few days so he doesn't think its his I love him and his sense of humor.

I did have brown bleeding yesterday but none through the night last night or this morning. I sign I am taking at implantation bleeding. I had 5 minutes of freaking out then relaxed about it.

Here is this mornings at 10dp3dt...

I'm going to keep POAS at least until the beta on Thursday.

Thank you for everyone who have been following and routing for me.

Friday, February 18, 2011

The Embies and my High Tech Camera

Here is the picture I promised of the 2 beautiful embies

It took me a few tries to get the picture right on my camera. My camera is about a year old but I broke the door that the battery and memory card goes into. Its now held together with a rubber band I got off of a bunch of broccoli. Dispite the broken door what is really cool about the camera is that it can detect faces in when taking pictures. I didn't know it was that sophisticated...check it out!

What will continue to make me laugh for the rest of this wait

Another blogger Venting Vagina posted this today and it made me laugh so hard I was crying. Best part is that I was looking at it during my "I'm slacking from my job time" and my boss had to come over to see what I was laughing about.

I think I'll just turn to this over the next week to bring a smile to my face when I need it.

Thursday, February 17, 2011


Its been a week so far....the 1/2 way point.

My boobs hurt a lot. J actually said they look bigger today. No touchy!!!

I've been having a few odd feelings in my abdomen for the past 2 days. I don't know how to describe the feeling. It feels like a pulse. Then my tummy feels tender likes its bruised but not. Like I just did 50 crunches but not. Like I said...I don't know how to explain the feeling. Every now and then I'll get a twinge but nothing really painful.

I kept forgetting to contact the clinic to get the report on how the embryos did through the freeze. I did yesterday. She said all 12 made it. Hun? If you've been reading my past post...the doctor told us we had 10 after the transfer. What I didn't know and he didn't elaborate was that there were 2 that were a bit slower than the others that they let go to blast. So we have 12 waiting for us!

I really miss my bathtub. I usually take a bath every second day and soak while reading a book. I miss it but I hope its worth it.

I want to POAS...wait I know its too soon. However, Monday will be 11dpt. Monday is also a holiday called "Family Day" where I live. The research that I have found say that it is possible to detect on 11dpt.

Should I?

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

5dp3dt, random thoughts in a 2ww

I'm already tired of waiting. Its' only been 6 days since the transfer.
My heart goes out to anyone that has done this hell wait more than once. I hope I don't have to do this more than once.

I wonder if I should POAS early next week but then wonder if I could deal with the thought of it coming back negative. J and I talked about it last night over Valentines Day dinner. He thinks I should wait. I just want him to be there when I find out. I don't want to get that call alone or while I'm at work. I think I may "work from home" next Thursday. I just don't know.

I'm questioning everything that could be a symptom. My boobs don't really hurt unless I push on them but even still not a lot of pain.

My tummy gets more bloated as the days goes on but that is a symptom of the progesterone. I get twinges from time to time in my belly. Not sure if they are good or bad twinges.

The embryo(s) should have implanted yesterday so I think any pregnancy signs should get more increased from today on. We'll see.

I did feel sick yesterday morning but that could have been just due to the fact of going back to work which is not a great place to be right now. A colleague just quit and the office is a bit of a stressful place. Can't wait for my review this afternoon. One of my colleagues just announced that her sister (who had been IF and this was her last shot) got a positive beta yesterday. I'm happy for her but I just want to the the positive one.

I want to be able to tell my family in a creative way that it worked. A cake with a fondant positive pee stick, t-shirts that say grandma and grandpa on them, a shirt for my dog that say "soon to be fur brother".

I just finished my lunch at work. Now I'm freaking out that it was a cold meat sub. Apparently processed meats are not good for you if your pregnant. There are so many do's and don'ts that I just don't know what to follow and not.

I don't know how I'm going to get through the next 9.5 days...

Saturday, February 12, 2011


I can't believe I am able to type that title. I was/am a bit worried that I don't feel anything really. A few twinges and teeny tiny cramps. But being so I wanted to figure out what stage the embies were possibly at and I found the following "schedules" for 3dt and 5dt.

1dpt ..embryo is growing and developing
2dpt... Embryo is now a blastocyst
3dpt....Blastocyst hatches out of shell on this day
4dpt.. Blastocyst attaches to a site on the uterine lining
5dpt.. Implantation begins,as the blastocyst begins to bury in the lining
6dpt.. Implantation process continues and morula buries deeper in the lining
7dpt.. Morula is completely implanted in the lining and has placenta cells & fetal cells
8dpt...Placenta cells begin to secret HCG in the blood
9dpt...More HCG is produced as fetus develops
10dpt...More HCG is produced as fetus develops
11dpt...HCG levels are now high enough to be immediately detected on HPT

-1dpt ..embryo is growing and developing
0dpt... Embryo is now a blastocyst
1dpt....Blastocyst hatches out of shell on this day
2dpt.. Blastocyst attaches to a site on the uterine lining
3dpt.. Implantation begins,as the blastocyst begins to bury in the lining
4dpt.. Implantation process continues and morula buries deeper in the lining
5dpt.. Morula is completely implanted in the lining and has placenta cells & fetal cells
6dpt...Placenta cells begin to secret HCG in the blood
7dpt...More HCG is produced as fetus develops
8dpt...More HCG is produced as fetus develops
9dpt...HCG levels are now high enough to be immediately detected on HPT

There it is...I have blastocysts inside me today.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

3 P's

I know that I was warned about the uncomfortable feeling of a full bladder but wow, it friggin' hurt. I told J that I was scared that I would leak like a water bed during the acupuncture. I didn't thankfully but the acupuncturist laughed at the comment. I also listened to a guided meditation during the acupuncture. The visualization at was of a warm bath (flowing not helping), then it also talked about going to a place of vacation to all of my cells feel like bursting. The only thing that i could think about was the washroom and peeing. I was allowed to pee before going into the OR, I sat there for what seemed like eternity. J told me to go I slipped out and went again. Then the ultrasound tech came in after I got back checked to make sure my bladder was full enough and let me go one more time. So in all I went three times. It was damn full!

The doctor came in did his clamp, clean, insert thing and then transferred in 2 beautiful embies! J is calling them P1 and P2. P is for petri. I'll post the pictures when I get back home. I took them on my phone and I can' figure out how to get them on here yet. t was kind of surreal. I still can't believe they are inside me right now. I keep touching and rubbing my belly. J asked how my belly was feeling a few minutes ago and I told him I couldn't fell them kicking yet. Ha-ha.

Now the 2ww...

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

17 and counting...

All 17 are still going strong! We got the email this morning giving us the instructions and explaining how the proceedure works. All in all it seemed pretty striaghtforward.

We're going out for dinner tonight. We've been really frugal over the past week so really looking forward to tonight.

We have to be at the clinic at 8:45am, accupunture at 9:00am, transfer at 9:30, accupunture after transfer. One for sleep!

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Sweet 17!

Yep that's right. We have 17 embryos at this point. We'll find out tomorrow how the "baseball team" is doing. Everything seems to be on track for the scheduled Thursday transfer.

Yesterday to pass the time we went to the movies. Narnia 3D. So much fun!

Not much on the schedule for today. Just hanging out at the hotel for most of the day. Perhaps we'll play RISK...a family favorite board game. We'll see what happens.

Monday, February 7, 2011

J's early morning date

All went well this morning. J "did his thing and I just sat in the waiting room.

I kept wondering if she'd show up while I was there. I do know what she looks like I had 3 pictures of her in her profile. I even know what her sister and father look like. What would I do if I saw her walk into the clinic for the retrieval... I think as much as I would have wanted to talk to her, to know her as more than just a 12 or so pages of q and a's. I would have kept my distance. I feel horrible for even typing this but as much as I am grateful for her...I don't want to know her. Thankfully, she didn't show in the waiting room. I've wondered about what gift I could give her to thank her for doing what she is doing. Necklace, flowers, day at the spa...nothing seems right. Part of me feels guilty for not getting her something...maybe I'll write a letter and give it to the agency to pass onto her. But then I don't know.

The IM shot this morning didn't hurt...until 30 minutes later and it hasn't stopped hurting yet, 2 hours later. J confessed that it may have moved when he was shooting me up. He feels bad. I'll milk up the sympathy for a while.

Stay tuned for retrieval update later today.

Here it is 28 eggs! 22 were mature enough to fertilize. We'll find out tomorrow how they did. In absolute disbelief.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

...and we're off!

This is the second time trying to post. I'll retype the original one when I get to the hotel rather than my phone.

Just wanted express. I never thought I'd have to use a gas station bathroom to insert a progesterone vaginal suppository. Just saying...


Now that we've made it to the hotel I can actually retype what I had tried to on our way here from my phone. Here goes...

I got up this morning first...even before our dog who it the usually the first one up by a few whines and pawing at the door.

I rolled over and got out of bed, which then woke up the dog. I went downstairs to let him out to do his business then fed him. While he was eating I put the magic bag in the microwave to heat up.

I went back upstairs to set up my mini medical clinic and reread the instructions for the trillionth time. Everything went well...sort of. I did keep the vial upside down when I took the syringe out so some of the meds shot out of the vile. The needle tip is way larger than the one that goes into my butt. The get changed once the meds are in it.

I switched the need tips and put the syringe into the warm magic bag to warm up the meds to allow them to pass through the needle tip easier. Then I woke up J. Who did not want to get up at all. After 5 minutes of the dog licking his hand and face he got up. Tee hee.

He follows me into the bathroom and I was prepared that he would stab me there but made a good point (no pun intended) when he told me my butt would be more relaxed if I was lying down in my bed. So at least part of this process actually gets to happen in our bed.

While I was lying on my stomach he asks if I already changed the needle tip. I told him I had. Then with an knowing tone he says "oh that's big" thanks jackass!

He tells me to count to five and he'll jab me. I told him just to do it...and he did. It didn't hurt. I did feel it but it didn't hurt. The PIO is really viscous so it take a minute to get it through the needle tip and into me. While he was doing that he said something that made me laugh (can't remember what). So then my butt was moving from laughing then he told me to stop laughing. Well that's like telling me not to laugh in mass at church when something funny happens. After some deep breathing to stop laughing he got it all in me and that was that.

Easy as pie!

So here we are in our home for the next 5 nights. J watching the game and me typing on the computer. Off to snuggle and pretend I care about the football game. J tells me I'm supposed to type "Go Packers!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Update #2

Wanna hear a joke? Leave it to a pregnant infertile to blow her nose and see a tinge of red on the tissue and instantly panic. And then she remembers it came from her nose, not her vagina. And calmness resumes. I borrowed this from a fellow bloggerVenting Vagina

The email from the nurse this morning indicated that the donor has 15 follicles ranging from 14mm to 17mm. Not quite the 24 follies that we had 2 days ago but still a HELL of a lot more that I have myself.

She goes back in on Saturday for one more ultrasound then takes her trigger in the evening. Then that's it until 36 hours later for the retrieval.

I start my new medication protocol on Sunday (I originally thought it was Monday). POI, 4mg of estrace, progesterone suppositories x3 a day, still taking 81mg of aspirin and pregvit.

Work is busy trying to wrap things up here before I'm gone next week. I'm a bit worried for when I come back I have a few large functions that I need to organize upon my return in addition to whatever else fall on my desk in the next week.

I also anticipate that one of my collegues is going to quit in the next week or so...she just waiting for find another job then she is going to give her notice. So much for the first trimester not being full of stress...

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Holy Follicles Batman!!!

24 seen on her ultrasound this morning!!

Happy dance!

Click here to see my reaction dance creapy looking dude but it made me laugh

She goes back in on Thursday for another ultrasound. We are still on track for Monday retreaval.

OMG I can't believe its next week...