Sunday, January 30, 2011


Last night I got a text from a friend that knows we are going thru IF issues and told me to take a look at the W5 news that was on. I got the text 15 minutes after he sent it so the news was off. I went online to watch it. It made me so f*&KING angry. It was titled "The Murky World of Reproductive Medicine"

Rather than retype the whole story here is the link to watch/read about it HERE or go to another bloggers site "WANTED: One Good Embryo" THIS POST to read her take on it .

I just wanted anyone who saw this or anyone that goes to this link to know that the woman "Secaly" is not and should not be regarded as proper representation of the majority of women that need to get help to get pregnant. She is not well and her doctors should be ashamed of allowing her to continue to do what she is doing.

Shame on you W5 for choosing her to be the “poster child” for women in my situation and to continue to allow this "murky" shadow to be cast on us. Most people like me who need help to get pregnant do not want a designer baby with specific traits nor do we want to sell off the ones that don't come back perfect. We want a baby…period.

I vow that once I have a child to call my very own I will do everything that I can to have women in my situation in Canada portrayed as normal, non crazy humans who don't want designer babies with a specific gender or physical characteristics.

I promise.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Stim Day!

My donor is supposed to start her stims today! Seems so exciting to have something change even if it not yet with my personal cycle.

I'm really hoping that the next '10 sleeps' goes by really fast... I feel like this has taken forever already.

Monday, January 24, 2011


Seriously?!?!? Do you not think constant baby bump or ultrasound picutres were enough? Just when you think you've seen it all. This is how a FB contact announces she's expecting.


Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Sick and donor update

For the past few days I've been feeling like crap. it started with a bit of a sore throat, then it progressed into a fever and a runny nose. I tried going to work yesterday but I left at 11:00am. What a horrible feeling...I haven't been sick in a long time but wow it really hit me. J has been really great, cooking, cleaning and asking if there is anything that I need from him.

I was even sick on our 4 year anniversary on Sunday that we ate soup instead of eating the yummy steaks I had bought earlier. We'll celebrate later this week.

We've moved forward in this baby process quite a bit. I have to admit this being our first DE experience and never having gone thru IVF or IUI there is a lot we don't know or even know to ask. I take it as a blessing most of the time and just go with the flow. But every now and then I'm brushed against something I'm unsure of.

I knew the donor was going to start her injections last Saturday, what, how much and for how long I don't know nor did I think to ask. What do I know? They are the experts.

I have fertility friends that are going through IVF and IUI and I try to compare what they are going thru with what the donor and I are going thru and they are different protocols so its hard to relate or judge what is right for me or know what questions to ask.

I emailed my nurse to find out when the donor would be going for her ultrasound I was shocked to find out it wouldn't be until the 29th. I figured since she was starting her shots on the 15th that she would be going more often than that. I later found out this was normal, after a few back and forth emails with the nurse. She started Lurpon on Saturday. She is going in for blood work on the 24th. If all looks good then she will start her stim meds on the 24th. She will go for ultrasounds before the 29th but only on the 29th will they really get and idea of how many follies we're looking at.

Off to eat some soup that my mom brought over...

Friday, January 14, 2011

text from my brother in law tonight

This is a text conversation that I had with my brother in law on my husbands side tonight...

Him "so we're having a romantic night, homemade lasagna, some nice red wine, I even bought flowers...oh and we're playing big buck hunter in track pants"


Me "but your texting me?"

Him "all class all the time"

Me "lol"

Him "don't you want to be an aunt again" (side note no kids on my husbands side yet).


Me " thing at a time"


Him "Who's winning you or us?"


Me "Um...I'm not keeping score"

Him "Sens vs Flames"


Me "Same there"

Him "what were you talking about...oh and 3-2 i.e. flames"

Me "I thought you were baby talking"

Him "no you win there"

Me "not yet keep you posted"

Him "not here as far as we know. Mexico (they just got back from holidays) was a good time, ya I know TMI"


The Boys

I had the most vivid dream about giving birth to twin boys last night. From the doctor placing one on my chest to feed, to J and I laying on our bed and crying just looking at them between us.

I really want this...

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

.75 mm and 3x stripe!

Woot woot! Just waiting for my clinic to get the results then send me the rest of my protocol.

J was hilarious at the clinic...I need more time and not be at work to type it so stay tuned for later.

So we were late this morning getting to the clinic by 15 minutes. I HATE being late, I HATE wasting people time. Any who, they were ready right away and said "C right this way" so I went right in an J followed me in. No problem I don't care if he's there for the ultrasound but I was surprised he joined me and told him so when the nurse left. He stopped in his tracks when we got in the room and said why, looked around and realized the probe like instrument was what was about to be in his wife and pretty much ran out of the room as fast as he could.

The doctor came in, did the ultrasound and all is good! He described my uterus as a wonderful 'hamburger' shape. I have never had my lady bits described as a food item before.

So I left the room and got J so we could learn how to do the shots. We sat down to learn what to do and the nurse was really nice and all was pretty simple.

We left the clinic and were waiting for the elevator and I realized I didn't tell him about the lining results. But I didn't realize the the doctor went out and showed J the pictures and described my 'hamburger' to him. J told me that hamburgers were out of the picture for dinner for a bad I was craving them yesterday.

My clinic told me they got the results a few hours later and that we have lots of time to get the lining to .8mm. They are also going to let me know later when to start the shots.

So all in all a pretty good day!

Monday, January 10, 2011


So here it is.

All contracts are signed. After waiting for a LONG time to get the lawyer to have a 2 minute conversation saying everything looked fine. See previous post detailing aggravation.

All parties are paid.

Lining ultrasound on Wednesday first thing in the morning with
"shot class". This is where J learns to give me intramuscular shots. See the link if you want to watch what I have to look forward too. VIDEO

From there I find out the rest of my protocol. I should start progesterone suppositories, progesterone injections in cotton oil and decrease my estrogen later this week.

J's parents told us for Christmas that they wanted to pay for our hotel when we go down for the transfer, so nice of them to offer and we are going to take them up for it.

I need to confess something...I bought the "What to Expect When You're Expecting" book. I know its pretty early but the first chapter is about before conception which is what twisted my arm into buying it. I was going to buy pregnancy tests too but I don't need to take it for over 6 weeks from now so I thought I'd hold out. It hard not to get too ahead of myself....really hard.

Friday, January 7, 2011

I'm going to freak out!!!

Ok so I got the Donor Termination of Rights contract on December 22nd. I sent it to my lawyer right away because of the holidays via email. I got an auto replay back saying shes on holidays until the 3rd and will not be checking her message until she returns. No biggie everyone needs a break and the documents were not due over the holidays.

So jump forward to today, 1 more voice mail and 2 emails more and 0 response from her. The documents are due tomorrow, I now have an extension until Wednesday (Thankfully). But WTF!!! Am I over reacting? Do I find a different lawyer, which is not easy to find a fertility lawyer? Do I just sign the papers and pass go? (obviously not...but I'm thinking about it).

I just left a final voice mail this morning...I don't know what to do if she doesn't get back to me today. I still have to get them notarized and super send them to the Donor Agency.

Trying not to freak out...more

*update: got and email from her this morning...she is supposed to call me early afternoon...again waiting...

**another update: emailed me yesterday afternoon...busy with meetings will call me early Monday morning. ARG!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

International Blog Delurking Week

Held in the second week of January , Delurking Week is a time in the blogosphere when all of you silent readers are encouraged to come out of the woodwork and post a comment or two.

So, with this post, I’d like to encourage all my silent readers to say something. It doesn’t matter if you are a regular reader or if this is your first time dropping by – we’ve got a warm and friendly community – so c’mon say something.

Pushed back!?!?!

Ugh...donors cycle was late...retrieval is now on Feb 4th, transfer on the 7th...sigh.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Welcome 2011!!!

This is going to be a good year!

I think the resolutions are meant to be broken and have never made one myself.

But I thought I would give it a go this year since I hope to have many changes happen.

"I will to try to be an all around better person."

This is a big all encompassing resolution but here goes.
-I will try my hardest to be a positive person.
-I will remove myself from negative situations and conversations around me.
-Clean more.
-Finish 1/2 done projects.
-Spend more time with my family and friends.
-Bring my dog for more walks.
-Go to the gym 3 times a week.
-Eat better.
There that is it! So doable!

Its going to be hard at moments but I need and want to do this. I may need help along the way. A call or text to a friend to get me out of a know who you are. My husband to remind me in the morning why I am going to the gym. But I think it is worth it and if the only thing I take out of that book I will get back what I give out in 2011.