Well not the kind of wait we're all hoping for but it is 1 week before J and I go to visit our Dr to find out how the donor screening went. I'm really excited. We're going to drive up on Sunday and check into a hotel. I really want to go to a nice dinner but DH is really figting hard not to make it an expensive weekend. I know we spend a lot in this process and that every penny that we spend extra is cutting into future spending but is it so wrong to want a nice steak? After dinner (I'll let you know where we end up going) were toying with the idea of going out to a movie. Our appt is on Monday at 1pm. we'll probably sleep in then make our way to that end of town.
I'm a bit bummed because I just signed up for a fertility yoga class and its on Sunday nights. I'll miss the first one which sucks...but it is what it is.
I sit here drinking a nice cup of coffee which I decided last night while going through the thoughts in my head that I am going to ween myself off of coffee...starting tomorrow. Well actually I'll finish this cup and rather than going to work with a travel mug of coffee I'll opt for a herbal tea.
I met up with a fertility friend on Saturday for coffee. She just got a BFN after ICI. Its her 6th try. I don't know if I could go through DE ivf 6 times mentally let alone afford it. She is really strong...I don't think she thinks she is though. We talked about our support group and what it would be like to have one of us "graduate" on one hand we would be happy but on the other sad it wasn't us. I get a pang of hurt every time I see another baby announcement made on Facebook or at a restaurant or on TV and I really wish that it didn't hurt. But I know it will take all of my strength to not put on FB that I'm preggo when it happens. Its not fair to those out there suffering alone or those ladies I've met in the club.
I think about after I graduate...will I push this aside and forget that this was a big part of my life and enjoy what I've been longing for for so long? I hope I don't forget...
Hi Mrs. HD,
ReplyDeleteYou are right -- it is a huge challenge to find our own personal balance between feeling happy for our loved ones when they get pregnant, and feeling sad about still having to wait our turn. Both are very valid and very appropriate feelings. It is great that you are part of a support group, because I am sure all the women in the group can relate to what you are feeling -- I know I can.
I wish you all the best, as you continue your fertility journey.
good luck in Toronto I'll be thinking of you!! xoxo
ReplyDeleteand I know what you mean about the fb announcements :(